Calay tried to slow each breath, to make herself smaller. Quieter. Whatever was going on up there, she wanted no part.
A shadow grew over the light. It crawled across the laundry, over her toes, obscuring her face. The silhouette was broad. Clearly out of breath. Human.
“Who’s there?” Calay asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
The light shifted as the figure picked up what turned out to be a heavy-duty, utility light, like the kind her dad used to have on the farm. They hoisted it up to their chest. Shined it down. She grimaced when the beam hit her square in the eyes. Calay’s heartbeat increased, her pulse raced. She needed to know who was up there. Watching her.
“Who are you?” Calay tried again, raising her hand to try to shield the glow.
“You alright?” The figure called back.
Calay exhaled. Her shoulders relaxed. Of course.
Jacob.
He was always dashing to her rescue. Showing up when she needed him most. When she wanted him least. After the way she stormed out of the Loft, the last thing she needed right now was for him to rush in and save her.
Except, she very much did need him.
She ground her teeth together, licked her dry lips.
It wasn’t that she was so foolish enough to think she could do everything on her own. After all, up until four months ago, she’d done it all with Tess by her side. Look how that turned out. But every time Jacob came waltzing in with his bravado and super-strength, he reminded her how weak she was. For once, just once, she’d like to save herself.
“How’d you find me?” Calay repositioned herself on the ash towels. Used one to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Failed. Instead, a dusting of soot followed in their place. Against her better judgement, Calay tried to make eye contact with Jacob. She knew his mannerisms well now. Almost better than her own. The subtle shifts in his body. The openness of his shoulders. She could tell he was grinning down at her. Her muscles tensed. She glared up at him. “What?”
“Do you really need to ask at this point?” He shifted his weight. The light too. “You know I can track your heat signature, right?”
“Fucking heat signature.” Calay hung her head, nodded.
“You can run, but you can’t hide, Calay.” Jacob laughed. He actually laughed.
“That’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.”
“Nope. Not even a little bit.” Calay crawled off the mountain of linens, stumbling as several caught around her ankles.
“Are you okay?”
“Don’t I look okay?”
“You looked like you needed help.” Jacob exhaled. “Badly.”
“Well, I don’t now.” Calay exhaled in return. If not out of spite, frustration. “You can go.”
“Can I though? Do you know how to get out of there?”
Calay glanced around. The blackness seemed even darker now with the light pointed directly on her. The last thing she wanted to do was push through it. Alone. She shook her head. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched his head bob.
“Stay there. I’ll come get you.”
“I’m still mad at you,” she said.
“I know.”
The light dimmed as Jacob retreated out of sight.
Calay found herself in pitch blackness. She couldn’t see a thing. It was a vast emptiness that weighed on her chest. Her heart. Her fear. She slowed her breathing, taking long inhalations and doubly long exhalations. She tried not to panic again. Jacob would make his way down there soon, and then she’d be free.
Whatever that meant anymore.
As the intense instinct to fight or flee receded, she almost wished he’d just let her die. Isn’t that what she deserved? After everything she’d done? She was responsible for so much pain. So much death. She just couldn’t claim it for herself. She pulled on the edge of the scarf still wrapped around her neck. Stretched it. Brought it to her mouth and bit down on the fabric. It tasted like dust. She clenched her eyes and stifled a sob.
The shudder of a heavy metal door opening pulled Calay back into her body.
She watched the light dance across an enormous concrete room, sparsely decorated save for a tweed armchair that had seen better days and a handful of washers and dryers. Cracked wooden shelves lined the walls, musty books coated in grime seemed to shrink away from the light. She recognized the titles. She didn’t need to pull them down to know between the covers were plays that would never be performed. Stories that would never again be read. Fictional lives, unlived.
Unloved.
“Place is a goddamned maze back there.” Jacob marched straight up to Calay, angling the light down. A swooshing sound filled the space as his head-to-toe leather duster dragged on the floor behind him.
Calay rolled her eyes at the drama of it. He sure knew how to make an entrance.
“See anyone?” Calay shuffled sideways. She didn’t trust her feelings if she got too close to Jacob, but also didn’t trust what might still be lurking in the shadows that surrounded them.
“No one on the way down, though there were probably five or so of those things when I arrived.”
“Is that all?” Calay blinked, her gaze met his. She could have sworn there were more. Hundreds, even.
“Oh yeah.” Jacob grinned. “Taking down five creepy-ass motherfuckers is a walk in the park for me. No big deal.”
“That’s not…” Calay frowned, straightened her scarf. “That’s not what I was saying. I guess I just thought there were more. What were those things?”
“People.” Jacob shrugged. “Desperate people.”
“They didn’t look like people.”
“And aliens don’t look like aliens, but after everything we’ve seen…”
“None of us are quite what we seem anymore.”
“Is that what you think?”
“Maybe we never were.” Calay shrugged.
“Calay, about earlier. I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the whole truth.”
“Right.”
“I mean it. I wasn’t trying to keep you and your mother apart. I hate to say it, but Ash was right. I should have said something sooner.”
“What’s up with her anyhow?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seemed…” Calay frowned, searching for the right word. “Weird, I guess. Around her.”
Jacob angled himself toward the darkness. Calay watched his shoulders rise and fall with each breath. Finally, he faced her and said, “That’s a story for another day.”
Calay ignored him and his pouty lips, took a step forward toward the door. Fine, if he wants to be that way. She’d had enough of this place. Only she wasn’t sure if she meant Jacob’s company, the theatre, or life.
“Calay…” Jacob charged after her. “Calay, stop. Please.”
“Let me go, Jacob.” Calay shook him off, continued up and out through the theater. She navigated the arteries of hallways as if she’d been there before. Several times. She pushed through the back door and stepped into the alley. A fresh blanket of snow crunched under her feet. Any trace of her footsteps from earlier were gone. Erased. Like they’d never existed. I wish. Jacob was on her heels.
Excerpt from The Darkest Stars. Copyright © 2023 by Kristy Gardner with permission from City Owl Press
THE DARKEST STARS by Kristy Gardner
The Broken Stars #2
The most terrifying monsters are the ones that lurk inside…After discovering everything she’s ever known has been a lie, Calay understands humanity’s brutality firsthand. Now, depleted rations, unexplained aberrations, and an ecosystem in collapse have driven her to the brink of madness–even with Jacob by her side. When a mysterious woman sent from the stars promises to grant every desire she’s ever locked away in her shattered heart, she’s forced to make an impossible decision: remain on a dying Earth or journey to a planet two-billion lightyears away in an effort to save them all. Clinging to the dream she might yet find somewhere to call home, she agrees. After all, how much worse could it get?When she arrives on the shimmering, glass-city planet Téras, Calay desperately want to believe in a better future. Despite being haunted by the past she’ll never escape, her hope is buoyed by the reunion with the mother she thought long-dead and the possibility of uniting their civilizations. The reality, however, is more horrifying than anything she could have imagined.As the universe descends into darkness, she finds herself trapped in the far reaches of deep space, face to face with dangerous forces, unyielding truths, and feral monsters that will force her to confront the darkest parts of herself, pushing her to the very limits of what it means to be human.In this gripping queer sci-fi odyssey, Calay’s journey through love, betrayal, and self-discovery becomes a fight not only for her life, but the survival of Earth itself.
Romance | Science Fiction [City Owl Press, On Sale: September 1, 2023, Paperback, ISBN: 9781648984020 / eISBN: 9781648984013]
Buy THE DARKEST STARS: Amazon.com | BN.com | Apple Books | Kobo | Google Play | Powell’s Books | Books-A-Million | Indie BookShops | Ripped Bodice | Love’s Sweet Arrow | Walmart.com | Target.com |
About Kristy Gardner
Kristy Gardner is a bi sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writer. She is the author of the Broken Stars sci-fi series, and the award-winning cookbook, COOKING WITH COCKTAILS.
Furnished with degrees in Gender Studies and Sociology, she crafts queer characters that adventure through space, time, and emotional maelstroms questioning what identity – and home – really mean.
When she’s not jet-setting words on her laptop, she’s chasing stars, mountain adventures, belly laughs, curating playlists for her books, and packing her carry-on for another escape to SE Asia. She resides in Vancouver B.C. with her partner.
No Comments
Comments are closed.