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J.T. Geissinger | Top 10 Worst Supernatural Gifts For Any Paranormal Heroine

October 21, 2014

Ever heard the phrase “I’m having a bad hair day?” Of course you have. And we all know exactly what it means! But if you happen to have the supernatural gift of prehensile hair (the ability to manipulate, quickly grow, and attack with your hair), that phrase can take on a whole new meaning. Personally I’d rather not have a coiffeur that might kill my husband if he mentions my mane needs a trim, but there’s a few even worse gifts out there in the paranormal world a girl might find herself saddled with. Here’s the top ten, in no particular order:

1. Bone Consumption

Aside from the sheer gross factor, I can’t think of a single instance where this power might come in handy. A variation on the traditional vampire, a bone eater gets her power from eating the marrow and skeleton of others. About as unsexy as a supernatural power gets.

2. Self-Detonation

This one is self-explanatory. The ability to let loose an explosion from the body, and put yourself back together again. Ouch. Also, I worry if there is an accompanying smell. (It can’t be pleasant.)

3. Prehensile Tongue

Like the aforementioned prehensile hair, a prehensile tongue can grow to great lengths, has extreme strength, and can be used to grasp, lift, and even strangle a person. Once the word got out, this “gift” would put a serious dent in your dating life.

4. Stench Generation

Imagine being able to overpower your enemies with your incredible superstank! Um, no thank you. I pity the girl who can produce a reek strong enough to kill people. Imagine what an accidental little after-dinner burp might do.

5. Death Vision

I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to be able to look at someone’s face and know when she’s going to die. Talk about depressing. The upside is, this gift only works on people with a soul, so if you sense nothing when look at your mother-in-law, you were right about her all along.

6. Corpse Manipulation

Need I say more?

7. Viral Duplication

The name is misleading. Viral duplication isn’t about making more viruses…it’s about making more of you. Like the Agents in The Matrix, this supernatural power allows you to clone yourself over and over, leading to some very interesting questions involving ego. Your husband might think it fun, for about two seconds, until he realizes he’s now got two dozen wives angry at him for leaving the toilet seat up.

8. Slime Mimicry

Also called Goo Body, this might come in handy for jailbreaks and sneaking into movie theatres. But I’m betting the snail trail isn’t the most attractive thing ever.

9. Plant Mimicry

If you just want to hide from your in-laws, this power is great. But who wants to be rooted in soil while the cat chews on you? As far as superpowers go, this one’s a dud.

10. Sonic Scream

My singing voice isn’t what could be described as “angelic.” However it’s not going to kill anyone, either. (Probably.) But if you’re the proud owner of a sonic scream, you can emit a highly destructive and deafening scream of high amplitude that can take out anything from small electronics to an entire town’s energy grid. The problem? Put anything in your mouth and your power is rendered useless. The last thing I need is a legitimate reason for my husband to stick a gag in my mouth.


In New Vienna, capital of the oppressive global government formed after the Flash, three things are certain: the sun is poisonous, speaking out is dangerous, and being different will get you killed.

And Lumina Bohn is extraordinarily different.

Living in terror of discovery, Lu knows nothing of her past—but she knows she must pretend to be human to survive. When an incident at work triggers her astonishing powers, she becomes the target of an international manhunt. Only one person can save her: Magnus, the enigmatic stranger haunting her dreams.

Magnus rescues the outcasts called Aberrants from capture and torture. As Lu begins exploring her powers among her people, her feelings for Magnus intensify. He’s determined to stay emotionally distant, yet their smoldering passion soon becomes impossible to resist.

But when a shocking revelation threatens the lives of every remaining Aberrant, Lu and Magnus must risk everything, confronting their enemies in an explosive final stand to save their kind from the darkest fate of all: extinction.

About J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger is an award-winning author of paranormal and contemporary romance featuring dark and twisted plots, kick-ass heroines, and alpha heroes whose hearts are even bigger than their muscles. Her debut fantasy romance, SHADOW’S EDGE, was a #1 bestseller on Amazon US and UK, and won a Prism Award for Best First Book. Her follow-up novel, EDGE OF OBLIVION, was a RITA Award finalist for Paranormal Romance from the Romance Writers of America. She has been nominated for numerous other awards for her work. She resides in Los Angeles with her husband.

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