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Jade Lee | Monday Musing Tennessee

April 8, 2014

I leave for a writer’s retreat on Wednesday. It’s a week at a Tennessee
cabin with fellow writers Cindy Dees and Elizabeth Hoyt. I’m sure those on
FB will see all sorts of interesting #Squidge pictures there. So here are a
few interesting musing in (what is to become) my standard format.

1. We found this cabin

a) while hiking. Elizabeth Hoyt broke her ankle and Cindy and I carried her
to the door and met a god of a lumberjack who nursed her back to health.1467442_607096122690008_1087757291_n
b) by googling “random cabin somewhere to hide and write.” Also known as
drink and talk about fantasy men
c) cabin choices are always filtered by superimposing Starbucks locations in
a 2 mile radius. No retreat is possible without mochas.
d) at the Brenda Novak auction

Answer: D In truth, the idea of retreat in Tennessee sounded so good, we
just bid without looking too closely at it. We’re not exactly sure how
rustic it will be. Fortunately, there is a Starbucks nearby, so at least
we’ll have coffee. Also…(A) did happen, but only in Elizabeth’s …um…
nighttime musings… (And OBVIOUSLY, the god of a lumberjack was Mr. Hoyt.
And she reminds me now that her leg wasn’t broken, she’d just twisted her
ankle. But she did wilt into his arms from the pain before he dropped her.
Fortunately, she ripped off his shirt as she fell.)

2. In case it’s too rustic…

a) Elizabeth knows how to start a fire with only 1 match. Truck question:
will any of us remember to bring matches?
b) Cindy has had Air Force survival training. She can defend us from
marauders while catching fish and forcing us to eat the eyes balls for the
c) Jade has no wilderness skills whatsoever. But she does have the car keys,
so that makes her vital in the search for caffeine.
d) all of the above.

Answer: Duh. D. And yes, I’m completely useless.

3. Our favorite writing food is:

a) Elizabeth Hoyt: peanut butter M&Ms or liver and onions?
answer: M&Ms
b) Cindy Dees: Cheez-its or York Peppermint Patties
answer: Cheez-its (which, apparently are better than crack)
c) Jade Lee: Dark chocolate Peanut M&Ms or cereal m_and_m21
Answer: It’s ALWAYS the M&Ms. Just because I have survived for weeks
on cereal alone doesn’t mean I won’t eat every M&M in sight first.

4. We’ll have a brand new author with us. She’s an exciting new YA author
with Dreamspinner press and she’s related to one of us.

puppy pie

a) She’s Elizabeth Hoyt’s Miss Puppy Pie. The title of her
book is: Ways to Eat Mommy’s Manuscript and Get Away with It
b) She’s Cindy Dee’s Air Force Sister writing Ways to Show those Dumb
Military Guys a Thing or Two.
c) She’s Jade Lee’s cat Ginger writing: Even a Dumb Blonde Feline Can Figure
out the Cat Door.
d) She’s Cindy Dee’s daughter Winter Page writing a transgender TY book

Answer: D. It’s an awesome book. Give it a try! Here’s the link:

5. How we’re getting to Tennessee:

a) we’re going to hold hands, click our heels together three times, and say,
“There’s no retreat like Tennessee.”
b) We’re going to do the above PLUS flap our hands really hard.
c) Duh, we’re holding hands. We’re going to flap our elbows really hard.
d) We’re taking a slow boat by way of China. Because we really don’t want to
write, plus Jade flunked geography. (Elizabeth just added: big time.)
e) We’re flying.
f) We’re driving.

Answer: F — because…duh ROAD TRIP!

6. On the way, we might be seen…

a) signing books at a bookstore near you! (Assuming you’re on our way.)
Watch my FB page for where!
b) stopping so that #Squidge can go pee. See, as middle aged women, we never
have to stop at every rest stop along the way. Not us. But sadly, squidge
has a very small bladder and is making us.
squidge in car
c) stopping at any Starbucks along the route. Or really, at any shiny
object. Because when high on caffeine we’re easily distract-able.
d) Eating dried rice cakes because we’re all on diets.

Answer: If you answered D, you haven’t been reading closely. If you answered
anything but D, you’re right. You have a zen like ability to understand
middle-aged female authors.

How’d you do? Did you get them all right? Leave a comment below and someone
will win a copy of Duck of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt. Or perhaps she meant
DUKE of Midnight. Someone else will win a copy of What the Groom Wants by
Jade Lee. And a #Squidge. Because sometimes squidge gets very frightened of
me and wants to go to a new home.

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