Yes, people, friends, acquaintances and the casual visitor, I did a VERY VERY BAD thing this week! I committed an offense beyond all reckoning…well, not as bad as burning a book…but close in my estimation. Let me tell you the sad tale.
I love books and have trained — it took YEARS of patience, discipline and punishment in some cases — my family to treat books with respect and dignity.
- No dog-earing
- No chewing on the pages (even small children were NOT exempt)
- No folding down pages
- No eating while reading. Especially not Cheetos or any other snack that
leaves a funny color to the pages.
- No using the book as a drink coaster. I mean seriously, do you want to have
a cover with a wet ring on it?
- No using the flat surface of a table as a bookmark! Use a bookmark, a
receipt, or a dollar bill if you’re desperate! Yes, the kids have known to find
lunch money in “morn’s last book!”
- And for goodness sake, never, ever, CRACK THE SPINE!
These rules have worked for years without a single hitch…until I discovered
SUDUKO. Sigh. Yes, I was sitting on the couch, enjoying a little television
watching when getting to the middle of the book, I couldn’t get comfortable. I
tried opening judiciously, I tried holding it with the left hand, then the right
hand until in a sudden flash of stress…it was a tough one in the last 3/4s of
the book, I lost it. Completely. Utterly. I cracked that sucker open all the
way. Bent back the covers till they touched and heard the spine give up!
Ah, the guilt. It stays with me to this day. And the looks on my family’s faces!
You’d think I committed a major felony and was asking them for bond money!
Sheesh. Okay, Okay. Yes, I was guilty. Yes, I was doing what I’ve never ever
condoned in others. But seriously, I got that sucker open and won the game.
So, taking this to the masses, what is the worst thing you’ve ever done with a book?
Get out there and READ a book…
Join us at Readers ‘n ‘ritas in 2009!
BTW — I’ll be on the road this weekend visiting the authors at the NOLA Stars Conference in Shreveport! If you’re at the signing on Saturday, please say hi! And follow the FreshFiction tweets on our grand adventure to Shreveport!