After 40 + books as a published author I can tell you that I have researched a many and varied range of topics. Most of them interesting, gritty, hard hitting things. Just off the top of my head I can list a bunch of them – how to separate conjoined twins joined at the head, heritage listings, shipwrecks, horrifying disfiguring diseases, autopsy procedures, prosthetics, football stuff (shudder), box jellyfish stings, earthquakes, eye conditions, the sex life of goldfish, loft conversions and canal boats. And that’s without me even going through my back list and checking.
I tell you, if my computer ever gets confiscated and they look at my Google history…. They’re going to take me away and medicate me.
And whilst the research I do is often very fascinating, I still consider it a necessary evil. I’m not in love with it like a lot of other authors are. And then along came NO MORE MR. NICE GUY and lo and behold, with Josie putting a page from the Kama Sutra down as #1 on her drunken sex list, I found myself having to research illustrated sex guides.
No, it’s okay, don’t feel bad for me. I put on my big girl pants and took one for the team. What can I say, I’m just that sort of gal.
So, what did I learn from this research? Why, I’m so pleased you asked…..
10 things to consider before attempting pages from an illustrated sex guide.
• Fitness. You have to be fit to do some of this stuff. Like, cardio fit. I would highly recommend a check-up from your GP. And maybe having one of those heart-starter thingamy-jigs handy.
• Flexibility. Take a yoga class or ten. Trust me. Get your man to take one as well. Human beings were not meant to bend into pretzels so you’re both going to need to limber up!
• A can-do attitude. It would be very easy to be put off by some of the eye-wincing positons I encountered in the name of good research so a positive outlook is a must.
• Sustenance. You’re going to need to keep your strength up. Carbs will be required – no Atkins allowed.
• Liquid sustenance. Keep up those fluids. You don’t want to get dehydrated. I recommend several large glasses of the fruity cocktail variety.
• The ability to not laugh out loud at the wrong moment is essential. Trust me when your man is doing The Bridge – one giggle could be catastrophic.
• Make friends with an orthopaedic surgeon. Put them on speed dial. You’re going to be closer than you think.
• Sex aides are recommended. I recommend a good back brace.
• Grow an Aloe Vera plant. Ropes chafe. So does carpet. It’ll be a good investment.
• Get a quote for sound-proofing your room. The rest of the house will thank you.
Still not game? I recommend reading NO MORE MR. NICE GUY where all the hard work is done for you and all you have to do is lay back and live vicariously for a couple of hours -its almost the same ☺
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