Sheila Rabe | Resolutions I’m Not Going To Keep

Every year it’s the same old, same old. I resolve to eat less and exercise more, manage my time better, get organized, be a better wife, mother, friend, and person. Be noble, and never get grumpy or lose my temper. In short, be perfect. This year I got in touch with my inner Doctor Phil and asked myself, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”

Well, in spite of my resolutions, my caboose has gotten big enough that every kid in the neighborhood could ride on it – at the same time. I’ve lost many an hour of productivity to Facebook and Twitter. (So why I still can’t figure out how to post pictures on my Facebook fan page or decipher half of the shorthand I read on Twitter is a mystery to me.) My daughter complains that she has to check my FB page to see what I’m doing and as for the better wife goal, let’s just say that it’s a good thing my poor husband Gerhardt is longsuffering.

So, in light of all that, what are my resolutions for the New Year?

1. Buy bigger clothes. That way I can eat and not feel guilty. And I’ll remind my husband that these days a lot of men like women with junk in the trunk. Gerhardt needs to keep up on trends.

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