1. Double—and triple—check your overnight accommodations. I learned this the hard way. When the heat is low, crashing at some dive off the interstate is okay. But when the bad guys are hot on your ass, you need something a little more low key. I crashed in an abandoned pet store one night last May, too tired to check the place out properly. Apparently there was a huge chunk of wall missing. I woke up to an unhappy forest dweller in my face—more specifically, a skunk. Let me tell you, keeping it lo-pro while smelling like skunk isn’t easy to do…
2. Always be prepared to bail. This should go without saying, as any situation could turn critical in the blink of an eye. But what about simple things like sleep—or taking a shower? My best advice to those on the lam would be to make sure your wardrobe consists of simple, easy clothing. Don’t even think about those cute wrap around tops or that killer pair of lace up boots… Fashion is going to have to take a back seat to practicality here. And for the love of God, don’t sleep naked. The last thing you want is to have to run from a hotel in the middle of the night in your birthday suit. The chances of losing bits and pieces to frost bite in the dead of winter is real. Trust me on this.
3. Always remember your name. No. Not your real one. Your alias. If you’re anything like me, you change names like most girls change lip gloss. There’s nothing worse than waking up a Cindy, and going to sleep a Miranda. Keeping track can be tough. Honestly, the best fix for this is to just stay away from people in general. Keep to yourself. When was the last time an intimate object asked for your digits? Actually, don’t answer that…
4. Not everyone is out to get you. Okay. Maybe I haven’t learned this one just yet. My mom always said, safer is better than sorry. But even I’ll admit that middle aged man smiling at you from across the room isn’t always Bounty Hunter looking to haul your ass in. Nope. Sometimes he’s just an ordinary, run of the mill pervert.
5. Be careful when changing your appearance. When on the run, the most important thing to remember is blending in. The continuation of freedom depends on your ability to lose yourself in a crowd. This becomes impossible with a dye job gone wrong. Word to the wise—green is not a hair color made for blending…
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